It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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