you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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