i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
