You're my little dorito
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
