guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We need to get me chipped asap
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
