You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
