where am i from again
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
