Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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