Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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