weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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