I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Fuck appropriateness.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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