She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
