yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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