I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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