Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
