the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
