Your mouth is God's brothel.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
