I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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