He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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