PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
