so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
