I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
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