Dude my mom stole all your condoms
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
