we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm always down for nudity.
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