ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
