he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
