6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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