fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
