we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
