I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
