I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
