She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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