She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
