; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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