...so i touched it.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
