she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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