She is in my trunk
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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