Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
