Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
