Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
