My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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