Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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