No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Tornado booty call.. dedication
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
and you fell through a lawn chair
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
