im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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