It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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