So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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