So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
