Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
