Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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