we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
