We're like a lot better than the average bears
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
