I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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