I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
