Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
